actually, I'm a sock model
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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