need another drink. this is the easiest way
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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