Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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