We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
