her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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