ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
