I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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