I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
