Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
