I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I supernannyed him into submission
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
