I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
