Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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