my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
