We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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