Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
