i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize