drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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