I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
