I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
