I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
