when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
