I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
