ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
