It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
