hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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