I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
