Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize