happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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