My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
