whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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