He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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