After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
