The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
