hotel room ftw
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
