he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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