Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
