I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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