dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
