No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
