Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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