me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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