I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
