If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
