when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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