You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
