I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize