And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
