JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
