just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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