is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
