This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
