butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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