omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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