All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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