he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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