He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
