This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
